growing pains

29 April 2020

Transforming Recurring Negative Emotions into Maturity

Are you dealing with recurring negative emotions right now?

Maybe you are trying to leave a job but are stuck in limbo, maybe you are trying to let go of a relationship hurt and it still stings, maybe you are confined to the same space as people whose thinking and habits are different from yours and you feel annoyed and frustrated. Whatever your unique situation may be, you can use the following self inquiry to manage your emotional balance.

First of all, identify what it is that you are truly feeling when you feel a surge of negative emotion rise up when you are interacting or reviewing situations alone.

If you are in a direct confrontation, don’t engage. Walk away first and say you need a glass of water or to use the bathroom. Take time to process.

Ask yourself:

Are you frustrated, helpless, sad, overwhelmed, confused, vengeful, guilt-ridden, shameful, foolish, disgust, fearful, jealous, prideful etc?

What do each of these emotions convey to you about yourself, the ‘other’ (person, people, institution…), and your current circumstance?

There are often layers of emotions compacted into a few minutes of intensity. Rather than reacting, it is important to observe and identify your emotions so that you can understand what they are communicating to you, and choose a better response.

Change Your Thinking

  • How can you make it better and easier for yourself?

Can you change your response, your course of action, or your way of thinking?

How important is it for you to make a stand for yourself in this case?

How does it impact and influence your desired goal or outcome?

If this has happened many times in your life, what story, thinking pattern or belief do you have about yourself that keeps attracting the same situation?

Can you choose to forgive yourself and anyone involved, and make an effort to reaffirm a new story, thinking pattern or belief and start to rewire yourself?

Change Your Feeling

If you are thinking that you have done this before but it did not work, chances are you have not changed the way you feel about the situation. While we are simmering in hate and vengeance, it would be pointless to affirm nice words that you feel nothing for.

Allow yourself to feel any negative emotion fully without hurting yourself or anyone, simply allow tears to flow and let out your sighs. These are ways our physical body let go of the energies so it does not store repressed energies which turn into toxicity that affects our physical wellbeing. Let go.

Next, tune into your etheric heart space in the middle of your chest, and breathe into this space so that you can tune into your heart, and gently affirm that all is well. It truly is. You are alive and intact, maybe a little broken emotionally but there you are still.

Then start to recall something or someone that makes you joyful, bask in that and let your natural response of smiling in appreciation spread into feelings of wellbeing throughout your body.

Many of us have been socially conditioned to delve in our negative emotions. What we need to understand is that, we are equally able to delve in positive emotions. While it may feel really forced and unnatural at first, you simply have to practice until your true nature comes back to you. By true nature, I mean your capacity to love and be pro-life and naturally well.

When you are at a vantage point of good feelings within, now you can affirm your new story, thinking pattern or belief.

You can use this as a reference and silently say it to yourself a few times:

“What has past is now over and has no hold over me anymore. It was a blip. I choose to let it go so that I can nurture my own wellbeing. Everyone is trying their best at whatever level of awareness they have. I too, am trying to be the best version of myself. I forgive myself, and any person or organization (you can also say the names here specifically) for this past episode. I choose to let go and choose a new reality, a preferred outcome that would honour who I truly am. Who I truly am is Love and Wisdom. I prefer to focus on where I am going, and where I am going is a state of balance and readiness for good things in my life.”

When you are ready, read aloud to yourself, peacefully and calmly, because you can sense the truth of the words.

Now, you are ready to respond.

"Never permit emotions to contradict your Inner Divinity."
~The Mother, Auroville