“Behind every judgement is a mirror that reflects an uncomfortable truth about myself.” you can quote me on this. What I have learnt is one of the most precious gems hidden in the lessons of letting go of judgement is gaining freedom emotionally when you dig deeper into what is causing you discomfort and loving yourself better for it.
My suggestion. The next time you find yourself judging someone for something, ask yourself, what is being reflected back at you? What can you forgive in your life based on this opportunity?
Maybe you think your friend is a show-off on social media, ask yourself what makes you think so? Even if that is true, why are you upset? What does it make you feel about yourself?
Maybe your mum just said the meanest thing to you in the world, before you start thinking all sorts of retaliation in your mind and even shooting your mouth to shut her up, ask yourself if what she said was true? If it was, what can you change? If it was not, why should it upset you? Which part of you agrees with her?
Maybe your coworker just got a compliment and when she simply smiled and nodded, you thought to yourself what a fake she is. Can you pause and ask yourself why you ever thought so? How would you react if it were you? Why are you judging her so hard? What is being triggered in you?
Maybe it’s your partner, he is so boring! He never does anything new so you can forget about ever being surprised. Now ask yourself “What does that say about you?”
And so on…there are millions of instances and situations. We all go through moments of unconsciousness, where we get busy judging and storing upsetting thoughts and emotions from witnessing or being in a dynamic that cause us frustration, annoyance and sometimes pure liquid anger that we wish to pour annihilation over our ‘perpetrators’ especially when it triggers something deeply wounded in us.
If you would pause and ask yourself what or how it is hurting you, you would be able to see a reflection of your personal truth.
These are great opportunities for you to heal, to forgive, to set yourself free, and to love yourself even more. I am not asking you to be a doormat and be walked over by others when they truly do something purposefully hurting. We do want to honour our boundaries. On the contrary, I am asking you to empower yourself. The only control we have is over ourselves, our thoughts and our actions. We have to master our mind and emotions. By reigning them in consciously, becoming aware of our own triggers, shadows and pain and forgiving ourselves; knowing what we truly value and working towards what we want without feeling like we are in the shadows of other’s successes, opinions or behaviours; deciding what actions to take when we are peaceful and non-attached to outcomes, we can surely achieve greater elegance in the way we show up in life. Set yourself free.
Breathe. & Let Go.
