3 weeks ago, I felt a niggling sense of fear that kept coming up. I wasn’t quite sure what it was, but there it was, day after day, it wouldn’t quite go away. I prayed and I focused on my intended outcomes as usual, but there it was. A disconcerting feeling somehow. It crept up every now and then, and wouldn’t dissolve. Looming over my back, a slight strain.
When a feeling does not go away after 3 days, there is only one thing to do.
Stop all that I was doing and give it full attention.
My subconscious wants time with me.
On the fourth day. I have learnt from my practice, that even that might have been a little too long to wait, even if it was a slight niggle.
I sat and I breathed.
I searched my mind.
First, I asked what it was about, what is this feeling of fear about?
Like a terrified child, it went into a frenzy informing me that I’m afraid I won’t have enough time to do what I am here to do. (What specifically is that anyway? I telepathically threw the question back gently) “Well, you know, serving my purpose, thriving, enjoying life…” (but you are already building on that, I assured)
“I’ll never be famous, no one will know me and then I’ll be dead.” (I flitted a little between wondering how important that is, if I am being too much in my ego here, musing at how materialistic that part of me was and analysing whether it was me or society’s measure of success, all in less than a minute), and felt my heart jolt a little. (oh wow, is that really important to me? Or is time running out for me? I questioned myself)
Then I felt my Divine mind say “Go ahead, plant that seed of fear in your heart and see what happens.”
I have planted other seeds before, seeds of desire that blossomed in the bed of love and wisdom within and showed me what was possible or not possible for me at that point in time.
With a slight trepidation and a moment of hesitation thinking “what if it shows me what a vain person I am?” (No judgement anyhow, I laughed) Well, so be it if it does.
I sat and I breathed. This time, going into my heart space. I planted that seed of fear with all those thoughts and desires in it.
Instantaneously, I felt relief.
The strain on my back lifted. The thoughts evaporated.
In my heart space, I didn’t care for not being famous, or even not being known. I didn’t even care to investigate where that thought came from. I didn’t feel there was not enough time. I knew that I was in divine timing, in divine love and support. I felt peace and love.
All is well.
Then I understood immediately. It is a perfect example of the difference between mind-based thinking and utilizing the power of heart-mind intelligence to support us to live and work more coherently, more authentically, and more harmoniously.
My mind was trying to show me a clear picture of it as I was working on some course materials that I was developing. (Still at it, hope to unravel them soon)
Try it yourself, what has been bothering you?
First go into your mind and let all the thoughts surface.
Then, go into your heart as you sit and breathe, when you feel the connection with your heart, you will feel a sense of peace.
Now, ask your heart and allow your heart to inform you what it really thinks. (or knows, more accurately)
